Here we go again. And again. And again.

It’s been a long time since my last post. And so much has shifted…  As I get ready for my 4th trip to India, it’s hard to believe that I’m doing it 7weeks in to my new digs in Edmonton.  My son is living in Fernie.  Jay, my daughter is in Hamilton. I dropped Charly (dog, co-best friend, and saviour) at my sister’s last weekend.  For 10 weeks. 10. Fucking. Weeks! And I leave in 5 sleeps.

For India, yes. But on the way I start with 5 days in London, On for the Iyengar Yoga Association of Canada’s AGM conference where I have the honor and extremely daunting task of being this year’s first teacher… Everybody say ‘yikes!’  Usually there is a guest teacher from India teaching at these things, but this year most of Canada’s senior-level teachers, and those going for our Senior I assessment are teaching.  These gatherings are important for many reasons, but mostly the feeling of coming together with others on a similar path in an atmosphere of shared learning is the best part.

From London I’ll visit Jay for a bit and then carry on to study at the Iyengar Yoga Centre in Toronto for 4 days.  Then it’s 5 days in Morroco before going in India!! Eeeee! I’m so excited.  Ever since reading The Drifters as a teenager I’ve wanted to go to Marrakech.  This year has been such a big one in so many ways for me – and this trip is a symbol and offering – to my self, of my worthiness.  I haven’t quite drank the koolaide on that mantra that I keep repeating.  But I’m getting there. Worthiness. ‘I am worthy.’ Of being a good teacher. Mom. Daughter. Friend. Partner.

Some blows knock you down.  And the time and space and nurturing that it takes to get back up and to feel worthy, to feel worthwhile can be hard to navigate.  It is a journey that, for me, was done solo with the support of those that knew I was the only one that could really do anything about myself.

The Yamas ask us to know the difference between help and support.  I know the difference because of those that supported me and didn’t feel the need to fix or make me better because they knew I was strong enough to do it myself.  So, at the risk of forgetting someone, I’ll say thank you to all and name a special few…whether you knew it or not, your presence was (is) vital.

Jayden, Josh, Angelique, Gabe, Jill, Pam, Carrie, Heather – all of my yoga people in Fernie, those at The Arts Station that trusted I could step off of my mat to do something else. Frema, Lola and Vince for giving me a place to be safe while I learn to fly in a new place.  Rhondi, Bill, and Mom – always.  Patty and Dana for sticking around through it all.

This is trip is a symbol and offering to all of you as well.  One taken with incredible gratitude.  Please follow along – I’ll be travelling with you all in my heart.

Love,   Sam